Africa News Quick

Greetings and mockery for Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Note: Tired of all that manual hand washing? The disheveled, the fuss, the lathering, the rinsing …Yuck !!! Now there’s a more “practical” way: just remove your hands and throw them in the dishwasher with a scoop of freshly baked Cascade. When they are dry, just suture them back to your wrists. Leaves hands soft and clean for up to 12 hours. It smells great too. Try it today! —Your friends from Cascade and the National Association of Bone Saws

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By the numbers:

Days until India Pale Ale Day: 8

Days until the end of the extended enrollment period for Obamacare coverage: 18

Percentage of Americans surveyed by Gallup in 2001 and 2021, respectively, who believed that the war in Afghanistan It was a mistake: 9%, 46%

Percentage of respondents this year who say the war was not a mistake: 47%

Vaccination hesitation in New England, the region with the least resistance to vaccines in the country according to an Ipsos survey: eleven%

Veterans Administration chronological rank among federal agencies requiring Covid vaccinations among their employees: # 1

Current price per pound of salmon in California, because climate change is killing all fish: $ 35

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Weekday Rapture index: 186 (including 5 nuclear nations and 1 Warrior culture playing in dog poop for Jesus). Soul Protection Factor 30 lotion is recommended if you are going to walk among the heathen today.

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Puppy photo of the day: Great if true …

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HEALTH to tell the truth to the traitor. The bipartisan House Select Committee on January 6^th The insurrection began yesterday with the fascinating testimony of several appropriately pissed off Capitol Police officers who fought against the Trump mob. Among the most dramatic moments, and there were many, was Sergeant. Aquilino Gonell Responding to a question from Liz Cheney about the accuracy of Trump’s statement that “there was a lot of love” in the crowd that day, and that police were not showered with projectiles and chemical sprays, but “hugs and kisses”:

“I’m still recovering from those hugs and kisses that day from those rioters, the terrorists who attacked us that day. If those are hugs and kisses, we should all go to his house and do the same to him. To me, it’s insulting, it’s demoralizing. . […]

What he was doing, instead of sending the military [and] By telling his followers to stop this nonsense, he incited them to keep fighting. Everything [the terrorists] They told us that ‘Trump sent us’. It wasn’t antifa, it wasn’t Black Lives Matter, it wasn’t the FBI. It was his supporters that he sent to the Capitol that day. “

A few minutes later, he said he didn’t mean that people should literally go to Trump’s house and said he apologized for his “outburst.”

For the record, in addition to Officer Gonell, the officers who testified were Pfc. Harry Dunn of the Capitol Police, and Michael Fanone and Daniel Hodges of the DC Metropolitan Police. They were direct, unwavering, vivid in their detailed descriptions of that day, and very, very angry at the Republicans. Welcome to the club.

P.S. This official Fanone moment requires no introduction:

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Surely Trump’s head would have been under that hand.

HEALTH to roll up the bad guys. Speaking of law and order, President Biden announced (finally) your first list of US Attorneys this week. As is their custom now, there are some historical firsts among the eight candidates:

Rachael rollins it would be the first black U.S attorney in the District of Maryland.

Zachary myers it would be the first black U.S attorney in the Southern District of Indiana.

Clifford johnson he would be the first black lawyer to lead the Northern District of Indiana.

Nicholas brown he would be the first black lawyer to lead the Western District of Washington.

Or, as the new Texas School Board history textbooks will say under their new Republican-approved guidelines: No one was nominated for any of those positions.

HEALTH to the anticipation of Bubba. Address a veterans convention in New Orleans in July 28, 1996, Bill Clinton call to Congress adopt expanded measures against acts of terror in the United States. It was a more innocent time then, and today the Act on adult children returning to their parents it looks pretty quaint.

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SHORT REST FROM HEALING

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END OF THE SHORT REST IN HEALING

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JEERS to another day in Bamboo Fiber Earth. Let’s review and see how the Cyber ​​Ninjas audit of 2020 ballots from Maricopa County, Arizona“Soon to enter your fourth month – will:

“This stack of Trump ballots, stay. That stack of Biden ballots, burn.”

They promise to finish sometime in August. As soon as the smoke clears.

HEALTH to feel your pain. In On July 28, 1865, the American Dental Association proposed its first code of ethics, thus paving the way for fun moments like this:

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My dentist, who reopened his office cautiously and responsibly, has televisions on top of all dental chairs for his patients to watch as he pushes, pokes and pierces. I always tune it to Fox News. Helps relieve pain. Well, the physical pain, anyway.

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Ten years ago at C&J: July 28, 2011

JEERS to the infrastructure breakers. Thank you very much House Republicans. Because they smell an opportunity to further weaken the transportation unions, they have cut funding for the FAA, 4,000 inactive workers in the process. The partial closure affects a number of construction projects that will cause disruptions in the use of various control towers and runways. One group of weasels you won’t hear complaining too loudly is the airline industry itself. This is so Gordon Gekko:

Airlines are bypassing consumers and taking advantage of lower federal taxes on travel tickets. By Saturday night, nearly all of the major US airlines had raised fares to offset taxes that expired the night before.

That means that instead of transferring the savings, the airlines are pocketing the money while customers pay the same amount as before. … Due taxes can add up to $ 25 or more on a typical $ 300 round-trip ticket. They died after midnight Friday night when Congress failed to pass legislation to keep the Federal Aviation Administration running. .

Shared sacrifice in action. To quote Nancy Pelosi: “We get the sacrifice, they get the wealth.” Have a nice flight. Enjoy your microscopic pretzel.

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And just one more …

HEALTH to the red meat that is do not the political guy. In July 28, 1900While trying to piss off his vegan neighbor, Louis Lassen reportedly invented the humble hamburger in New Haven, Connecticut. Louis lunch it is still in business and kicking old school:

The beginnings of the hamburger sandwich as we all know it today were actually quite simple.

One day in 1900, a gentleman rushed into Louis’ Lunch and told owner Louis Lassen that he was in a hurry and wanted something he could eat while running. In an instant, Louis placed his own mixture of ground beef cuts between two slices of toast and sent the knight on his way. And thus the most recognizable American sandwich was born.

Today, Louis’s great-grandson, Jeff Lassen, continues the tradition. Burgers have changed little from their historic prototype and remain the house specialty. The burgers are prepared fresh every day; hand-rolled from a proprietary blend of five varieties of meat and cooked to order on the original cast iron grills dating back to 1898. The Lassen family is steadfast in their desire to offer no seasoning. The Louis Lunch experience is about the taste and simplicity of a fresh burger grilled to perfection. Cheese, tomato, and onion are the only acceptable garnish.

So happy birthday to the hamburger, for 121 years the quintessential representation of the American diet until the next Republican is elected president, when it will be replaced by cat food. (And if I would do I eat fries with that.)

Have a happy hump day. The floor is open … What are you cheering and making fun of today?

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Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

Biden criticizes Bill in Portland Maine for asking him when he will dive into it Greetings and teasing Children’s pool: “You are a pain in the neck”

–Mediaite

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