Meet the most recent president of the EU… Van Damme – POLITICO
Pity the poor alternate president of the EU. As revealed in the Brussels Playbook this week, the rotation of European Commissioners to be in charge while everyone else goes on vacation is gloomy reading for some of our unelected Supreme Heads.
At the time this article is published, it will be Budget Commissioner Johannes “The Wrath Of” Hahn who has the keys to the Berlaymont while everyone else is on a beach (socially estranged, wearing masks and hand gel). . And Enlargement Commissioner Olivér Várhelyi must have annoyed Ursula von der Leyen (potentially due to the fact that she is Hungarian) as she has the Christmas shift this year and again in 2023.
Várhelyi wants to trade, but there is little chance that Virginijus Sinkevičius from Lithuania will offer to intervene, as the younger commissioner is eager for Santa’s arrival.
Declassified would like to suggest a change in the Commission’s rules: allow a Belgian, any Belgian, to take the reins so that all commissioners can have a long summer break.
There is an obvious candidate: Jean-Claude Van Damme. The Muscles of Brussels would be ideal as a summer substitute for the Commission. He’s popular, he’s bilingual, and you can even give security staff time off as he’s tough as nails!
He even has experience in a similar role, having starred in “Second In Command,” in which he played the second-in-command (obviously) at the US embassy in “Moldova.” So you could even fix the extension before the second half of August.
However, there is a problem: in 2011, he went to a Birthday Party for Ramzan Kadyrov, the Chechen leader, gnome copycat and human rights abuser.
Anyway, now the whole plan could be wrong. This week came news of a massive jewelry theft in Paris, which was shocking for two reasons: One, a suspect escaped on an electric scooter (a decision that made robbing a store the second worst thing he did that day) ; and two (and I quote directly from guardian because this cannot be improved), “Potential witnesses in a nearby cafe told Le Parisien that they did not see or hear anything. Many were reportedly distracted by the presence of former screen tough guy and martial arts specialist Jean-Claude Van Damme at nearby opticians. “
First off, “the one-time screen tough guy” is a tough description of a man who (check Wikipedia) stars in the action comedy “The Last Mercenary,” which opens on Friday. And second, if Van Damme’s eyesight fails, will that prevent him from taking on this important new role?
More on this important development as we get it.
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Paul Dallison is POLITICALslot news editor.
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