Wings over Scotland | Homework exercise
We accidentally pulled out for a week last week because the outrage of Craig Murray’s incarceration could not be allowed to go unnoticed. But we’re closing up again now, so here’s a fun challenge to deal with what’s left of what happened for the summer.
Because the feat described in that image is not easy.
We have a very good idea what the SNP offices in Edinburgh look like, because luckily, two floors of the same building are currently for rent.
(Strangely, the party is not listed as one of those in the building. “Main tenants”.)
The SNP occupies the third floor of the Gordon Lamb House, which is basically identical to the first floor space that is currently available.
It’s a good size for the party, which has 20 full-time equivalent employees according to its latest published accounts, including CEO Peter Murrell and COO Sue Ruddick.
So here is your challenge:
We want you to find a way to spend £ 386,000 to furnish that room, and also £ 230,000 on IT equipment for 20 people.
This is a real competition, we will give wings. genuine gold* coin (normally exclusive to people who donate more than £ 500, so extremely rare) to the winner in each category.
*plated
So don’t cheat by making all the windows with diamonds or anything. We look for plausible legitimate breakdowns of how you could spend so much money. You can be very extravagant, but you can’t be absurd.
RULES
– The SNP can claim a VAT refund, so use prices without VAT.
– No structural alterations can be made to the building. It’s a rented office, so the most you can do is put in some non-load bearing partition walls.
– The bathrooms are external, so there is nothing to spend there.
– We will pretend for the sake of the competition that there was no furniture or computer equipment in existence before last year and that you are starting from scratch.
– Suppose there are no discounts for bulk purchases.
We’ll help you get started with some tips:
Obviously you’ll need a super-awake ergonomic desk to sit / stand, like all modern hipster launchers. This one comes at a bargain price £ 1,843.
And you can’t expect your fragile warriors of diversity and inclusion to feel like the same kind of normal commoners. £ 180 Office Chair from IKEA Since Nazis like Wings, no matter how comfortable and durable it is (the Markus is by far the most popular choice of all my trivia fanatic video game journalist friends). You’re in the New SNP, for crying out loud! You will need a Herman Miller. His classic Aeron is a cut in £ 927 (excl. VAT).
That works out to £ 2,770 for each workstation, which works out to £ 55,400 if you can get 20 of them into the space for all party employees to use at the same time. Watch your budget though – you only have £ 330,000 left to spend on some closets, couches for the reception and a boardroom table and chairs.
Computer equipment funds should be a little easier to remove. Let’s start by getting everyone a high-spec iPad Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max, complete with all the trimmings: keyboard and pen add-ons and insurance coverage, plus of course AirPods so you can enjoy maximum privacy when discussing the best way to pressure Police Scotland to prosecute. your former leader.
That’s £ 3,885.50 per head excluding VAT, or £ 77,710 total for the 20 employees. But obviously we will also need desktop PCs with good monitors. And this kind of poor crap won’t do for Nicola’s Twitler’s youth stormtroopers:
So we could go the Apple route again:
But why go cheap? Gamblers are paying! We really go for it:
For just £ 3,562 excluding VAT each, you can outfit your entire team with the latest Microsoft Surface Studio 2s for just £ 71,233, bringing his total to £ 148,943. However, you still have almost £ 80K to spare, so to ensure compliance with COVID-19 social distancing it is probably best that you also include some nice-for-everyone laptops:
The top-end Surface 4 isn’t available yet, but hey, what’s your rush? Indyref won’t be coming for at least a couple of years. [hollow laugh], so you will have them in time. At £ 2,066 excluding VAT a pop that sounds like another £ 41,317.
After buying all those things from all SNP employees, each item of which is far superior to anything used to produce Wings, by the way, you still need to spend another £ 40,000 to reach the SNP disbursement on IT equipment in 2020. Therefore, you will have to be creative, readers. (And only the lord knows how the furniture bill is going to accumulate). Good luck.
Will we say August 31 as the deadline for registrations? Until then.
