• August 18, 2021

Mike Lindell: Carnival Barker, or Barking Mad?

Mike Lindell has hit rock bottom. (We think.) Which is no small feat for a guy who last week reclaimed having “been to Mexico where my head was being cut off,” an apparent reference to his days as a cocaine addict. (Days that are LONG in the past, in case you were wondering.)

After his cyberpallooza crashed and burned, with his own experts tapping and admitting that he had no evidence that the choice was rigged, Lindell has been in a tailspin, peering through the bushes for ubiquitous saboteurs and muttering theories of increasingly insane conspiracy. . We would almost feel sorry for him if he and his money hadn’t done so much damage to democracy.

The so-called cyber symposium was fraught with technical difficulties, which Lindell attributed to Antifa, of course. (Click there for TONS of batshit videos.)

LINDELL: They put what’s called a poison pill to screw up everyone’s things, so they take your computers and whatever, I didn’t even get it. I say that?” We have antifa things, or people who have infiltrated, they told me this morning. And you know what? I would have said, “No, the show must go on. We will continue with what we are doing.” But after what happened to me last night, I say, “I don’t want that,” you know? We want to be safe here.

What happened last night, Mike?

Well, depending on who you ask, Mike Lindell was violently assaulted by an antifa saboteur holding a suspected incendiary device, or succeeded in hugged too tightly during a photo shoot by a fan holding a tangerine.

Never trust a man who carries products! And never trust the media! In particular, journalists like Lindell’s arch nemesis, Zachary Petrizzo from Salon or Khaya Himmelman from The Dispatch. The pillow pumper aexcuse the couple of allowing Antifa to infiltrate the event in a way that is still inexplicable, perhaps giving his press credentials to Antifa agents who later masked themselves and posed as reporters.

It’s okay, Poppy.

On Monday, Lindell signed up for his regular therapy session with Steve Bannon, telling the podcaster that his “investigators” would publish a report later that day on the treachery of the reporters.

“They were letting Antifa in, they were giving them badges and they were wearing masks to enter the building, saying they had to wear masks,” he told the decrepit podcaster. “We have Zachary Petrizzo, we are seeing all the images of the place.”

No report was submitted. Perhaps Lindell was too busy listing all of his former allies who were in cahoots with … you guessed it! – Antifa, to deliver your homework.

“This Josh Merritt got involved,” he yelled, referring to the alleged cyber expert who ran the Pillow Show in South Dakota. “We have recordings. He prepared to sabotage this. This Red Team was brought in. Now, remember, I hired the Red Team, but I’ve never met them before.”

“This guy is trying to discredit the evidence my team is putting there,” Lindell complained, apparently oblivious to the fact that the sole purpose of hiring outside experts to investigate the shit you received from a known con artist is to see if it can be discredited.

“We have an hour of recording of [Merritt] where he basically tried to sabotage the United States. ”

What a change of face for Sidney Powell’s star witness, SPIDER, the cyber expert who was not!

And guess who else it was in this? JESUS ​​CHRIST HIMSELF!

Well, not in person, but through His holy representatives on the “news” site on the right. TruNews, whom Lindell named as part of the Antifa badge conspiracy along with Salon and Media Matters. Yes, that’s right, TruNews where Pastor Rick Wiles works.

Well Pastor Wiles was not taking that lying down, no sir!

“We are demanding that Mr. Lindell immediately retract his allegations and apologize to TruNews,” intoned Wiles grimly, before adding a $ 1 million lawsuit, as “a donation to TruNews to compensate for the damage he has done to us. with his wild, reckless accusations. ”

Trouble in paradise!

But don’t worry guys they managed to hold him, bitch. But, you know not aggressively, and not with citrus.

In summary and conclusion, Mike Lindell is your crazy uncle with PTSD who was looking for Japanese and / or Vietnamese soldiers lurking in the bushes when you took him to lunch in the 1990s. Presumably. This guy alone has $ 300 million and a social media platform. Not supposedly.

God bless America.


[Salon / The Dispatch]

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